12-24-12

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the course,

28 cars worth of people were disc golfing, says a reliable source.

The world had not ended, as the Mayans projected

So 5 met at hole 1, so that teams could be selected

Most had to leave, most notably, Dro

Who had to clean house, instead of ‘throw-glo’.

Funky had bailed, along with him, Mary

So twas up to us, this ‘burden’ we’d carry.

Hos planned to not stay. In the end he was snared.

By the Christmas goodies, which Vic had prepared.

After the goodies were passed round and shared

The flipped discs revealed Hos & Vic to be paired.

More teams were formed by the flipping of platters

Twas Patty with Jobe, & lone Dave to ‘have-at-er’

At Zero Dark:30, we tee’d on hole 1.

All our friends are with family, but WE’RE having fun!

Vic’s stocking was stuffed with 3 of 4 CTPs

The bounty they split, so, yes, Hossy was pleased.

The Ace-fund was open, we had enough peeps.

But the chain crashers arms, could have used GPS.

(Pronounced: “Geeps”. Work with me here!..)

Dave’s putting was strong, and Patty canned twos.

But Hos & Vic prevailed, despite lack of booze.

The prize pack was small, but it just didn’t matter,

We came and we played, and we got to huck platters.

‘Neath the discmas tree lights, where our putters mingled

That familiar old “jingle” wasn’t always Kris Kringle.

The round ended in hugs, under moonlit skies

As we told fellow golfers, “I love you guys”.

I was heard to exclaim, as I drove out of the park

“Merry Christmas to all, come golf with us in the dark”

**********************************

Hi, I’m Hos, I’ll be your guest Down Low Dubs Chronicler for this evening. Your regularly scheduled chronicler, one ‘Gr8Rocshot’ will return… uh, ‘whenever he damn well pleases.’

Since there was no Armageddon for a disappointing 3^rd day in a row, I figured it was a good day to “arm-a-good’n” in DeBary.

Upon a 3pm arrival, I counted 28 cars on this “in-the-hole-iest” of eves.

After a full solo daylight round, I hooked up with Dro, Jobe and a couple others for a beat-the-sunset front 9, which we nearly finished.

It was my intent to leave prior to dark:30, but the intrepid club Treasurer used some sort of mind control on me to convince me to stay.  It went down like this…

Vic: “Stick around for night golf.”
Me: “OK. “
I mean, how do you even argue with that?

Despite our urgings, da Dro had to forego da glow, to go to his abode and give the gift of cleanliness; for which, he would, theoretically, receive the gift of staying in a relationship.

The Christmas eve glow round came down to 5 devoted souls who would see the Christmas display light show (in the form of one lit pen) placed lovingly upon each of the DISCatchers, before we performed our “in-the-hole-iest” of duties.

We all flipped discs and Vic and I were teamed up. I figured that Jobe, Peyton & Patty would triple it up, but they flipped again and teamed up Jobe & Patty, leaving Dave P playing the Cali Kid.

Santa granted a few taystee putts for Patty, and a few more for Dave. But it was obviously Vic with the inside track to St. Nick, as he was able to stick 3 of the 4 CTNPs. (Closest to the North Pole)

The crusty, but trusty 71 mold awoke from it’s slumber just in time to help me drain a few from outside the circle.

Vic & Hos       -8
Dave & Dave   -2
Patty & Jobe   E

12-10-12

Through the kind sponsorship of a friend, I attended the 1^st Chain Hawk Open in Gainesville.  I’d like to mention his name but I’m sure he would be less-than-enthusiastic about a band of merry players, hoping to tour, knocking on his front door. So… just, “thanks!!”

I showed up at Jonesville park just as doubles was about to pick cards. I’ve got a great doubles story for you…but it isn’t from today. I chose to go around and get a look around and try shots.  I hooked up with a couple of advanced players and we slid into a space between groups.

Yesterdays torque-fest at the chiropractor was reflected in todays work. I shot an –11 down and skipped 2 holes

Saturday morning, I did not fare nearly as well; scoring a mere –4/56 to lead Masters by 1. At the end of round 2, I was leading by 13 strokes.

Sunday morning, we started on #6, so I grabbed the card at Northside and took a quick walk to tee #2 on my way to my hole. I threw a Destroyer, which fell inside a few feet early.  I mentioned to James that my Echo Star Katana was almost obscenely stable. I said ‘Watch this’,  and hucked one out there, it stood up for a bit, then dove left and hit the ground on the perfect skip angle and into the chains.  $440 ace fund and I had to picked today to arrive early . *&^%$#@!~`

That said, Northside pk has always been good to me. After round 3, I was leading Pro Masters by 20 pts.  Round 4 started before I could get enough putting warm up, I hadn’t seen ANY of the new alternate positions and my knee started giving me grief. Cal Lincoln made a last minute surge to pass Wayne for 2^nd.  I shot a 972 rated round and still ended up winning by 20.  Crazy. I guess the chiro adjustment worked.

But, to keep things in perspective, Ricky Wysocki, who had battled off both local hero John E McCray and World title holder Paul McBeth, beat me by 23 !

Tomorrow: Hoping to get papers signed for a new entry-level course to start later this week.

12-??-12

The irrepressible John Kirkland was visiting his home-town of Orlando, which meant lotsa disc golf with da Hos.

We drive T2, hole #9.

Hole length: 384’

Combined putting distance from the pin: 28’

Combined score for the hole: 4.

Combined age of throwers: 120!

Scorekeeper, a coupla birdies please!

Tomorrow: Probably more birdies!

11-25-12

One of my all-time favorite humans, from Sweden, came to visit before her conference in Chicago. Ingela is intelligent and witty. Oddly, her English is better than at least 50% of Americans living below the Mason-Dixon line.

During one of our banter-fests, she gave me what may be the best compliment of my comedic life, by calling me ‘pathologically funny’. That’s going on the resume… now that I’m not even doing shows these days.

I actually missed booking a Christmas gig because I took half a day to think about whether I wanted to do it.

I went to the Clearwater tourney and played fairly well, but wasn’t firing on all cylinders. Besides, the TD changed nearly all of the OB parameters on the course, primarily because he wanted to raise the SSA of the course. I don’t think it had as much of an effect on the course’s SSA as separate those whose games were really on from those who were just slightly off.

Tallahassee’s Laymon Gray is a family man and doesn’t get to a lot of tourneys during the year, but that didn’t stop him from posting a 1061 rated 2^nd round and a 1042 rated final round to beat the guy in 2^nd by 13!  I was grateful to be that guy, edging out two local masters by 1. Ironically, now that my player rating is back to 1000 (even) I didn’t manage even ONE 1k-rated round on the 21-hole, OB-laden layout.

I tried to gain sponsorship to the Disc Golf Italia tournament in Florence. The PDGA & Disc Golfer were all for it, offering to assist with the cost of the flight in return for some assistance with the event and a story for the mag. The remaining sponsor fell through, which put the kaibosh on the trip, which would have also included a side trip to Rome for a weekend of jamming at the famous Capocotta Beach.

Sun King’s “Throw Down the Mountain” at the site formerly (but still by me) known as ‘The Gran Canyon”, opened for registration; the am leg sold out in less than 90 minutes.  Pros may still have spots open.

Been playing a LOT of night golf, but not really tuning in to my glow putters. I keep bouncing around to 6 putters, which makes it tough to tune in to what each disc does when you’re lining up your putt.

Last night, after handicaps, we stuck around for 9 more holes, but talked the other team into going 18.  We were 1 behind going into the 2^nd round from the long tees.  I hit a semi blind arching 80’ sidearm putt with the trusty & crusty Midnight Flyer to tie it up on the par 4 #12 (formerly #6) to tie it up.  Twas a thing of beauty.

On that same round, I lost my mini black-light. I posted on the local DGsrUs page etc, threatening to use my 1million candle-power search light to charge up my glow plastic next week, if my light wasn’t found & returned.
A few days later, after several hours of NO searching whatsoever, it was found, by me, in a different pouch in my night golf bag. I love a good mystery.

Gotta say, I’m extremely happy with how the course in turning out at River City Nature Park in DeBary. All 18 baskets are in with temp tee signs. The new fairways are already worn in within a month!  This course is getting a LOT of play!  Last Saturday, I pulled in to see about 30 cars!

Several members of the DeBary dg club have stepped up to perform various duties, chief of whom is Brian Roberts, who also runs handicaps and empties most of the garbage cans. He and others have taken it upon themselves to mow when the park system is slacking.

Against all odds, I’ve managed to cash at my last 4 handicap rounds at TL, RCNP and today at Barnett, where we played the North course. (last Saturday of the month) my round went a little like this, 2,2,3,3,2,4,2,2,3,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2,2.

“It’s got a good rhythm. I give it a ‘13’! “.

After a 2-meter-bogey on hole 5, I deuced 9 thru 17 to finish the round –13, set a course record & took 2^nd in the h/c. But, for some unexplicable reason, failed to put my $ in for the ‘raw-pot’, which I would have won by 3 and earned half again what I got for 2^nd in the h/c.  I need an investment coach.

Since so many course projects (that looked good before the economy took the nose dive) have fallen thru this year, I am looking at going back to school to earn money thru more traditional means.  This will, undoubtedly limit the time needed to pound out this drivel, if not eliminate it completely.

Tomorrow: Probably at my desk all day, working on getting people to throw money at me. But, hopefully, I’ll end up at DownLowDubs for the evening’s festivities.

11-02-12

I & D & Gang Golf

An I & D company (Install & Dismantle large booths at big conventions…This week; Aviation) hired me for 8 days straight. Then another asked for 2 days before that. I was amped up to bust some hump this week and earn some solid scratch, but… The company that booked me for 8-straight only gave me 2 up front and 1 at the end.  Bookers!*&^%$#@!

Thursday, I worked for one I&D co from 4pm to 9pm, drove home (35 min on a good day) zonked & got up at 6am, started at 8 for a different I&D company and went until 2:30pm.

I had hoped to go to Valdosta for a tourney this weekend. But, too many things about this weekend; voting, a friend from Sweden is coming to visit on Monday, piddly errands, I’m between checks and I can’t afford to swill and I haven’t picked up a disc since the Orlando Open. Oh, and I’m tired. I was almost too lazy to include that.

Once that decision was made, I let my guard down and rested on my bed for a minute or two. An hour later, I looked up to see that it was 4:45. “If I leave RIGHT NOW, I can make gang golf @ Barnett pk”. I lurched out of bed and dragged myself to the Anti-Chrysler, catching all of those leaving-work-early-so-they-won’t-have-to-hurry people.

Grady Burch, a casual FL disc golfer who has been around since the dawn of plastic, pulled in right behind me. He informed me that Gang Golf (1 big crew-some of however many show up) was supposed to have gone off earlier today since the sun is setting sooner.

Starting on hole #3, we shifted into catch-up mode.  I missed a 25 footer to start (but NOT the mulligan putt, which I could have counted, according to some unwritten rules about starting a round cold, you get a mulligan on the first tee. Well, I didn’t count it, because it was a putt.

The round started off with my upper & lower body playing in two different time zones. I wanked a drive & 3-putted the next. Similar on the next, + 4 is pretty much what EVERYONE gets on the new long position of the next. A few holes, a couple pars and another bogey later, I was +4 after 8 holes.

At this moment I should have been irate, but actually I was feeling good, nay… smart… one might even say internally smug, about my decision to NOT go to the tournament in Valdosta. Since it would have cost a minimum of $200 in gas, food & entry.

The next hole was something like 380. I parked it with a 360 Wraith. Turbo putt… Ching.  The gang (we caught up) waved us on to throw the next hole and I put one around 15’. Turbo. Ching.  The next, I got a good pop with a good shape. It wasn’t the shape of the fairway, but that didn’t seem to matter to my Road Runner, which obliviously slid through the trees and parked at around 15 feet. TurboChing. The next was probably in the top 10 in my life time of throwing a driver dead straight… to around 15’. TurboChing.

The next was long. I did a 360 & hit my other hand on the body rotation. EVERYONE in the group hit their 3-putt. There were maybe 8 of us and at least 5, most of whom were casual players, bagged 35 to 25 footers for a solid par-frame.

Deuced the next, then parred, then deuced the island hole, then parred leading into the final, hole 2, where I laid up, then hit a 120’ floating up shot with my crusty but trusty 71 mold. Woo and Hoo.

As I counted up my score and confirmed that (once my body had a chance to calibrate) I had just birdied 7 of the last 10 holes to finish 3 under par… suddenly, my decision to NOT hit a tournament this weekend gave me more reason to be  bugged than smug.

I had taken off my shoe twice, trying to get the thing that was jabbing the ball of my left foot, to no avail. Once home, I found out that it was a 1/4” long splinter that I haven’t a clue about how it got there.

As I dug a trough into my foot with a razor knife, trying to pry out the little burrowing chunk-o-lumber, I took sadistic solace in thinking, “Good thing I didn’t go to the tourney. This splinter didn’t keep me from throwing well today, but it probably would have tomorrow”.  Whew

Tomorrow: We got new tee sign samples for T2 #1. Were were supposed to get 1 for T2 and 1 for RCNP, but they sent 3 of T2 #1. I can’t go off on the company because they were free samples. Oh well. I may go put them in at T2 tomorrow.

10-29-12

Spent the early part of the day working at the convention center getting some “double-time” hours.. yes, yes…  Got off mid-afternoon… Sooo,  no better place to be than RCNP.

Besides, I had the urge to get the rest of the baskets numbered and some temp tee signage up. With the help of  team Stihl, Jamie and I pounded out a nice new entrance to a “NEX-T” path.  We got a few other areas cleaned up and I went out to put up more tee signs and numbers on baskets.

I had to quit due to the start of “Down Low Doubles”. We ended up having to wait on a guy who had called in and said… I’ll be there soooon”.  The draw ended up pairing the two who are traditionally 1 & 2 @ DLD’s; Jaime and me.  A few cried “Bullshit” but they let it slide. We’ve been beaten before.

Meanwhile another guy whom we didn’t know, was standing around because he had missed the draw and all of the other teams had gone off to play, as we waited for the other guy.

Jamie, (our DLD-TD) decided to let him play as “Odd-man”.  His name was Slim from Kansas City. Slim began the round by deucing our first 6 holes, without using a Mulligan.  Every drive was a HA-YUUUGE hooked thumber that would stop a rhino, and a solid follow-up putt.

I took 3 temp tee signs and hand sledge on the round. Hey… gotta get-er-dunn.

In the end, Slim tied Jamie and I. But only because Jamie & I had a strategy.  We had glow discs.  We’re pretty sure that the primary reason Slim didn’t crush the rest of the course, is that he flat-out couldn’t see what the hell to aim at… since this was his first time on the course.

Jaime & I may be looking at 3^rd more often since there’s a new Sheriff in town. And his name is Slim.

After Down Low Dubs, We went out for 18 holes of downer and lowlier glow golf, finishing @ around 11:30pm.  After which, I went back out and rubbed on a couple more basket numbers and put up another tee sign, finishing at the stroke of midnight.  There! Nearly done marking the course, so that people can figure out the new layout.

Leaving a course poorly marked is a great way to provoke poor reviews, which has a direct effect on people’s decision about whether to play the course.

Tomorrow: More than I want. Less than I should.

10-20-12

Last week’s South Florida Open left me in sad shape. Fortunately, the payout was at least good enough to give me leeway to pay for a Rolf session on Wednesday and a chiropractor on Thursday.

I felt a bit better, was standing less like a stooped over old fart and figured I’d be up & cranking by tourney time.

I went to the course on Friday but didn’t feel good enough to finish 18.

Today, the Pros & Advanced players started on T2. I felt like a wet dish rag. I was incredibly sloppy. My timing was way off. I made a few decent shots, which was often followed by a shot one might expect had I thrown it lefty.

Meanwhile Daytona’s Chris Lenkiewicz (sp?) was puring lines and canning solid putts. Were it not for the two extra holes, his 1^st round would have been in the 40s… 3 strokes off the course record (-14/64). He gained 8 strokes and I felt helpless to do much about it.  I’m told his 1^st round of 53 was rated around 1066.

As Jack Hicks was preparing to drive across the water on hole #16, a man came jogging by, flanked by his two young daughters on bikes with training wheels.  Just as they passed behind us, one of the young girls looked and Jack and said to her father, “Daddy, why is that man going to throw that thing in the water?” Needless to say, everyone in our group started laughing and Jack had to walk off the tee for a few moments.  When he did throw, it was the only time he ever ended up deucing the hole.

Frankly, I was stunned to have made the lead card. Sitting in 4^th, my game started showing some signs of life on Turkey Lake’s “Original” as I swayed back and forth between excellent and excrement. Chris’ solid play continued but he only gained 1 on me in round two. I moved up to 2^nd place, 1 stroke ahead of T-hassee’s Laymon Gray.

The HUGE news is that SunKing has been in negotiations for a few years with a certain property owner and it now looks as if that property owner has given him permission to run an event on the property. That property just happens to be… The property formerly known as The Gran Canyon.

The only real issue is that the DeBary club had expected to run a DeBirthday mini-event on Jan 20, but it looks like that will be the Pro leg at the Canyon, hence, I would have to miss one of them, unless I can convince DeBary to move the DeBirthday event to another date… like Feb 2, the day before the Super Bowl.

Tomorrow: Orlando Open-Day 2.

10-14-12

More of the same. Some say even worse. I decided to putt a bit less aggressively from outside 20 and a bit more aggressively from inside. I had my lowest score of the tourney, which putt me on the bottom of the lead card.

Again, I reprised the between-rounds-horizontal-flop, but found it exceptionally difficult to ease into the 4^th round. I was +4 after 4 holes, which included a double bogey on a hole that requires a bomb over a huge stand of Brazilian Peppers.

The signature hole is #7, which has a peninsula for a green. Everyone on my group could reach it, but me. Evan skipped off the water and onto the green for a putt, which he made. I laid up on the drive, put a flick within 12’, hit the putt in the sweet spot and, for the 2^nd time this weekend on this hole, spit out to take a bogey.

I got pretty worked up about it, which, I guess, is what I needed, I started putting together better shots. After watching John E make a massive spike-hyzer on 10A, which didn’t look like a decent shot at all, but the spotter said it was within 10. So I did that and FINALLY managed to deuce it. The rest of the round went smoothly. Nothing super fantastic but very few wind-related mistakes

On hole #12, they used the longer pin position, which is surrounded by tall bushes that have grown up into the tall trees. Not much of a birdie opportunity there. I did a 360 spin drive downwind with a beat to snot Wraith and put it right at the mouth of the only opening facing the tee, which is only about 4’ wide.  Very near my disc was a red disc.

I picked it up to find that it was a Wham-o Spin Jammer (NOT a golf disc and definitely NOT my disc) However it had 10-12 written in pen and MY name on it. And I KNOW somebody was dicking with me, because my name was spelled incorrectly. I never mentioned it outside of my group.

Clearwater’s Charlie Goodpasture, who lead after round 1, had a bit of a blow up on round 3 and fell to the 2^nd card. However his 4^th round was the lowest of the tournament and he came back to tie Evan and I for 2^nd place.

The payout was good and the event was run smoothly. Though, since the Ace fund was not hit, the (new) Tourney Director decided to KEEP the Ace fund and donate it to EDGE.

I’m all for disc-related charities, but there was never an announcement stating his intentions. Tradewinds is NOT prone to aces. People EXPECTED to have a throw off for the ace pot. I told him that this is NOT normal protocol and TD’s discretion really wasn’t the issue here, so much as making it crystal clear on what he intended to do with OUR money

I told him that he should wait until next time and ANNOUNCE that “If the Ace Pot is’t hit, it will go to a 50/50 split to EDGE and the top 3 in a throw off”.  We never did throw off for it. I didn’t want to be the dick and ask for my money back. But it could have been handled much better. Other than that… solid event.

Although John E McCray may not hold the deed, he OWNS this track and won by something like 13 to 17 strokes. Despite that, I still felt good about my 2^nd pl tie finish with two big arms in these big winds.

The big story of the day was the putting contest, where 12 year old Julia Randolph hit all 3 putts and beat John E and everyone else for the spoils. Remember this name. JR also has a strong drive for a 12 year old girl and should be a force to reckon with in years to come.

Tomorrow: Visiting a course WCDGD installed last year.

10-13-12

Registration only allowed for one Pro division. After signing up, at the players meeting, the new TD asked if anyone wanted to play Master. Two people raised their hand, but it fell to me to decide if I would play Master in a 3-some, or play open. I chose to play Open, despite the fact that the length of the Tradewinds course is not suited to my game and several things about it (mostly tweeners and safety issues) make me nuts.

Tradewinds is one of the more appropriately named courses I’ve played. The winds were constantly trading-off from the Easterlies, coming from the Everglades, to the Westerlies, rolling off of the Atlantic. This made for highly unpredictable flights.  Putting was just flat-out crazy. Missing 12 footers was not uncommon.

Zeke Jervis seemed to have a handle on putting, for the most part, as I watched him bag most of his medium range putts as if it were a calm day. Charlie Goodpasture put together a solid round that actually left the Tradewinds Dominator, John E McCray trailing by 1.

I was, as expected 5 strokes back in 6^th place.

My energy levels as of late are abysmal. My prep for round two was to kick back on the futon in the Anti-Chrysler with the side and back doors wide open with the big crazy breezes passing through. It was bliss.

After another bout with the breeze, I had shaved 3 strokes and moved up to the top of the 2^nd card.

A caravan of players headed to Mike & Linda’s place for a round of “driveway tetris”

I took a chance and slept in the driveway with my doors partially open, taking in the night breezes.

Tomorrow: South Florida Open-Day 2

10-12-12

There were tournaments at the opposite extremes of Florida this weekend. Both of which would provide me with an opportunity to check on some of the projects WCDGD is working on.

Pensacola’s Blue Angel park has 3 disc golf courses at the same complex. It has been several years since I’ve played the original course. But I’ve recently played the two newer courses and did not feel that they were up to pay-to-play standards.

Tradewinds park in Fort Lauderdale is primarily about power throws. John E McCray is 13 for 13 in doubles AND singles there. It is the only course that Evan Gurthie (used to throw farther than Double G) will travel to play, simply because he can open up on several of the holes.

In the end, I opted for the South Florida Open in Lauderdale, because I had a pressing matter south and west of town… and I’d heard that they had $3500 added to the pur$e.

It was late in the day before I could pull myself away from other last minute stuff @ home and head south. Too late for any practice on the course, and too late to even reach the park before it closed, I found a room at Paul’s Motel. Not a play on words about a player’s house. It was literally called “Paul’s Motel”.

Tomorrow: South Florida Open-Day 1