One Grand Disc Golf Tour

08-28
Tourney Day at Fly Boy!!
My intuitive feelings were that I would lay waste to the current course record at Fly Boy held by Phil Arthur. Not surprisingly, I came up a mere 15 strokes shy of the mark. After the round, Phil commandeered me in the Fly Boy golf cart to an area that he wanted to make even harder! (But a little cooler) We also spoke about extending a ‘tweener’ par 3 into a solid and natural par 5. They’ll only have to move and remove about 10 tons of live and already downed timber. Piece-o-cake!  (Photo courtesy Brad Meier Photography)

Some of the Lightning DB5’s (aka ‘Deuce Busters’ by non-fans) are incrementally being replaced with Innova DISCatchers, making the holes easier to spot and the fairways far more photogenic.

I had intended to spend some time with Kelly to disc-uss the Fly Boy article and another disc golf project that would greatly increase the exposure of the game…but he’s married and she’s more important than me.

08-29
Perkerson.
Perkerson park’s disc golf course is purely temp. I brought my oldest Mach 3 (Formerly a Boylan Family Farms basket) and let them roll it somewhere convenient. Having seen only a few holes prior to the start, I shot the 2nd best score of the round, missing birdies on nearly all of the holes I had actually thrown.

Round two, when I supposedly knew what I was supposed to be doing, I shot 6 strokes worse. There was water on the course but not the drinking kind. So, I’m going to call it dehydration rather than arthritis or being out of condition. I say “out of condition” rather than “out of shape” because the shape of my body still looks deceptively OK as long as I wear two layers of clothing.

With a spectacularly mediocre finish of 9th, I silently thanked the PDGA for calculating the most recent player ratings before this tourney could be factored in, gathered my meager earnings, and bid Atlanta and its players adieu.
I threatened to pull over and get a hotel for the final 4 hours of the drive back to Orlando. Only the Carl Hiassen book-on-CD, “Skin Tight” kept me from exploring the finely crafted Department of Transportation’s interstate roadside ditches. The Anti-Chrysler mk lll, wreaking of some unknown boiling fluids on the engine block, backed into the driveway around 1:30am. Lights out somewhere nearing 4am.

08-30
A Forgettable day.
Believe it. A bit of clerical work to wrap up prep for the FL Rec & Pks Assoc convention. I forget the rest. If I remembered it and wrote it down, YOU’d forget it almost immediately. So, what’s the point?

08-31
FRPA
My biz partner, Chad, and I met at the Caribe Royal Convention center at noon. We pulled up to the service entrance and our booth was the very closest booth possible. Set up took less than an hour. We have a killer new banner and posters. I brought a Franken-discatcher and the new DGA M5 trophy basket from the recent PDGAW GM win.

Had a few hours to kill, so we visited a golf course recently purchased by a local parks department with the possible intent to install a course, without any experienced help, of course. It’s conducive. We’ll see.

The conventioneers swarmed around our booth, primarily because the food and wet bar were across the aisle. But we had free stuff, so when they had finished stuffing their gullets, they came by and loaded up.

09-01
FRPA day 2
The morning session had no free booze, so the attendee’s focus was, of all things, parks & recreation.
The dwindling economy is starting to turn heads our way. We’ll see if they follow through.

Unloaded the van and went to T2 to paint green & blue stripes on the new tee pads.
But didn’t have the energy, or desire, to play.

09-02
Mostly sleep.
Ditto.

09-03-10
Great News! Not.

I just returned from getting the results of my hip MRI. And although the news revealed, as suspected, a ligament tear (which can be fixed via surgery) and advancing arthritis (for which they can do precisely dick, which ironically, is roughly where the arthritis is primarily located), I am still rejuvenated with a new sense that all is right with the world because my newly purchased Miracle Whip container has a new look! Happy days.

Since my doc told me that I’d have to stop running, I went for a round of “speed” golf. Due to my recent sedentary-ness as of late… “speed” had very little to do with it. Let’s just say I ran about as fast as my wobbly legs would carry me. I can safely say that I set a new record on the round. Though it isn’t one I’m proud of since it was “worst-all-time-score”. I think I shot –3 in 19 minutes. (About 5 years ago, I shot a –12 in 14:35 on the same basic layout) Birdies take less time.

Many years ago, when I was a full time road monkey, I wrote a DGWN article called “How to stay awake on the road”. Many commonly accepted practices were addressed. One that I had yet to discover at that time was ‘books-on-tape’, or in this digital age, books-on-CD. The idea being, if the story is interesting enough, it can keep your mind alert.

With that in mind, (alert or otherwise), my current three favorite authors (all sick-funny bastards) are Carl Hiaasen, Christopher Moore and now Tim Dorsey. One of Tim’s most recent offerings is Nuclear Jellyfish featuring “Serge”, a recurring hyper, fun-loving, Florida history aficionado-travel advisor and sociopathic killer (but only when the victims earn it)

One line that struck me as particularly poignant occurred when he was called-out about his claim to have studied under some fabled painters. “OK, I made that part up. But, hey, if you’re not willing to make up wild bullshit about yourself, don’t expect others to”.

Words to live by indeed.

Tomorrow: Orlando Disc Golf Club handicap.
“Handicap” seems apropos at the moment.

08-27-10

I had stayed at a nasty little fleabag just off I-75, across from a truck stop east of Griffin, GA.
There was a hole in my bedspread. Could have been a cigarette burn, could have been a bullet hole. I glanced around the room. No inanimate bodies other than my own.  Good enough.

Hwy 16 runs across GA directly into Whitesburg. Fly Boy is a few miles north at an air park community.

Yesterday’s MRI required a shot of dye to provide contrast. They also required a driver in case it had an adverse effect. It may have been my recent lack-o-sleep or the dye, but I got home and instead of completing the packing job on the van, I laid down for a couple hours, but never actually slept.

The grogginess continued through the drive and into the next day on the course. I felt great after the pour at Turkey Lake but that didn’t last long.

Somehow, I developed a kink in my right low back-hip area (opposite side of the MRI) that made my back feel as if it had to pop every 8.5 seconds, despite the Icy Hot patch that was quadruple taped onto the area. It felt good enough to play but I took it light. It’s an arduous course, so I declined a commitment to doubles.

Later, some campers decided to play night golf, but continued using their day (city) voices. I showed up late but got in. 20 minutes later, we finished the first hole. I bailed out and went to bed instead.

Tomorrow: All 27 dang holes.

08-26-10

Remember yesterday when I said I was going to get an MRI and then drive to Georgia?

I did that.

Goodnight.

08-25-10

The Big Pour

Up at 6:30am. (Ergh) Fixed a coff-o-cuppee and my nasty-looking-but-great-tasting concoction and headed for the course.

In the gates at around 7:30. Orlando Disc Golf Club Treasurer, Daryle Siddon, was already heading back toward the front of the park as I pulled in. He had already scoped out all 10 of the tee frames and did some light leveling etc.

The mixer truck arrived right at 8:30. We had a park guy on a tractor, one on a bobcat and about 7 club members ready to go. We parked the mixer at one tee, while the tractor and the bob filled up and set out for nearby tee frames. More guys showed up and we were able to split into 3 crews. I directed the truck and the tractors to the most efficient areas from which to work, while we used the park’s walkie-talkies to cue our club’s foot-soldiers in to our next location.

On a couple pads we actually moved a bit faster than necessary. I prefer to float and screed a tee twice in order to get the aggregate (rock) to settle in a bit deeper. After 8 pads (roughly 40 minutes) I zipped back to the beginning to put a stippled surface on the pads and give it a smooth border.

My first pad was #1 green pad. I was surprised to find that an experimental surfacing technique had already been applied. The rest went smoothly and quickly, especially after Daryl joined me and took over applying the border.

We got all 10 pads poured and surfaced in TWO HOURS!!! Even faster than the previous pour (7 pads in close proximity) and this set was spread out all over the park.
It was a fairly cool day (only 90ish) as it was threatening rain the entire time but, thankfully, never made good on its promise.

We covered each new tee with a plastic tarp and used extra bricks that had been left at hole #2’s brick frame (now a par 3 blue tee instead of the old red par 4)

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE BLUE PADS AT T2 ARE NOW IN. I expect they will be unveiled after handicaps on Saturday, Aug 28. GO BIG!! PLAY THE BLUE TEES!

Now I can go back to concentrating on the FRPA convention and the Hotlanta tourney immediately preceding it.

Tomorrow: An MRI on my left hip and a drive to Georgia.

08-23-10

Chad, my biz partner and I are working on getting ready for the Florida Recreation & Parks Association convention, which is a mere week away.

Chad, pounding away at literature, posters, banners & postcards, while I make calls and try to gather other promotional materials left over from days gone by. As well as trying to find a portable DISCatcher in good enough shape to use as a display model. We had several cleaned up and converted from portable to perm. They are also the older models, which means we wouldn’t use them even if we had them set up properly.

As for the actual homefront… the neighbor across the street was broken into today for the second time in 10 days. Looks like Hossy will be visiting the gun range for some practice. And, not unlike the movie “Wanted”, we’ll find out if I can curve a bullet around a moving television set.

While the entire country is putting their 46” flat-screen Tvs on their already maxed out cards, mine is at least 10 years old and only about 12”. My room mate’s TV is probably closer to 30” but is a hernia waiting to happen, also old and draws enough electricity to brown-out a small rural town.

I’m currently on guard duty while my violated neighbor goes to Home Depot to replace his locks and probably even the door-frame. We’ve always jokingly referred to Pine Hills, our neighborhood, as “Crime Hills” and now it seems that we aren’t the ones laughing.

I’ve started scanning my 35mm photos again. Trying to do at least one batch per day. I still have over 70 batches to go. Theoretically I could be done in 2.5 months. However it has taken over 10 years to do 171 batches, including a 6-week gig in Branson, MO where I scanned roughly 50 batches while holed up in a hotel room with little else to do. Currently, I already have plenty to do.

Each batch requires 5-6 scans. Then I go through each scan and cut & paste individual photos, clean em up and number them according to the index print that I tape to the back of each batch’s envelope. I also have to create a numerical index on the front so that I can quickly locate a photo that I’m looking for. (Some of this crap is pretty funny!)

After separating each photo, then I separate the digital photos into funny, Frisbee, scenic etc. As horribly disorganized as I am with most facets of my life, I quickly learned that I’d never find a photo for my slide show if I didn’t go to these lengths.

The system still fell apart when it came to slides, which was the primary mode of public presentation. I separated select prints that I thought would be funny, or enhance another shot that was, and took them to a photo place and they took slide photos of my prints. Once I got a new batch of slides, I would literally, and almost microscopically, write the name of the photo on the SIDE (not the face) of the slide so that I could try reading them while in a stack. When working on a new joke, it would take from 3 minutes to NEVER to find a slide because I had them sorted by topic or urgency rather than alphabetical.

I do not yet own a digital projector. I’m still operating with an old carousel slide projector. But the slide shows have outgrown the carousel even though I’m not doing show these days. I’m considering another attempt at it because they are the funniest thing I did on stage and required no cross training or solid knees and hips.

Anyone reading this blah blah blah’g or my DGW stories could not have missed the accompanying photos. Trust me when I tell you that the work and expense that has gone into this collection is considerable, but in no way calculable.

Tomorrow: T2 Concrete Pour, Hotlanta & FRPA prep. (oh and scanning batch #173, since I’m doing 172 tonight)

P.S. I didn’t even mention how many photos are missing, so I have to dig out negatives and take them to be reprinted before adding them to the scanned batches.

08-21-10

I bailed out on the Daytona Ace Race because there’s just too much to do at home.

I went to the regular Saturday morning club handicap at Turkey Lake instead.
We played T2 all the way around. One day I hope to convince the club that our handicapping system will allow for someone playing a different set of tees, if they reestablish FROM those tees. But, for now, we’re playing all short tees on T2.

As usual with handicap, I didn’t have the focus necessary to overcome an addition of 8 strokes to my score. I can usually pick up on some of the side pools, (CTP, birdie fund or no-bogey fund) I didn’t stick around long enough to find out (and nobody tried to chase me down to hand me $) because I saw some parks people drive by with non-parks people riding in the back of the truck… Aha! Community Service guys… 4 of em… heading towards T2..Hole #1!!

So, I went straight over to #1 and started directing the guys to cut the multitude of insidious potato vines poking up all over the fairway. We also downed a couple of trees, made smaller work of them and used them to line a patch of trees dividing the split routes the fairway offers.

I think T2 hole #1 just made a HUGE leap towards being the fairway that I had envisioned at the outset of the imposed relocation.
I also cleared a better visual line, which CAN now be used as a straight, short-cut, but with higher risk. An out side hyzer is also available with less risk than the straight shot, but more than the anny.
It’s still one of the hardest holes on the course, but not OBVIOUSLY THEEE hardest.

T2 will also lose the tree in the middle of #10, which I feel will also improve the hole from the fairness aspect, while somewhat reducing the challenge . We hope to do new pin positions next year. Now, a perfectly executed shot won’t hit a tree. I love that.

Looks like I’m off the waiting list for the “Hotlanta” tournament this next weekend. Swinging it will be a bear because I’ll have the concrete pour on Wed the 25th (10 tee pads!), an MRI for my hip on the 26th and I’ll probably have to drive straight up to Atlanta from there. While there, I plan to continue working on the story about Fly Boy for Disc Golfer Magazine, and an idea that I hope will start generating some projects for WCDGD.

But I’ll have to leave Sunday the 29th and get back as quickly as possible because that only leaves Monday to prepare for the Florida Recreation & Parks Assoc convention on the 31st & 1st.

Tomorrow: Nothing specific. Just building momentum

P.S. Isn’t that an interesting shin?

08-19-10

For those of you reading this, and especially those who have followed this blah blah blah’g from July 4, 2008 until now, thanks for periodically checking in with me.
You can thank the folks who host this source of mind-blah’g-ingly insightful and relevant blather by visiting discgolfcenter.com and checking out their selection of plastic. (unsolicited shameless plug)
Because, I, for one, appreciate the support of discgolfcenter.com. Just buy some stuff. Don’t make me do an info-mercial!

I don’t know how many are following these days. I’m pretty out of touch. But don’t be so judgmental. It worked for Bush. I only checked up on the log-in count while I was actually doing the namesake tour. As for the actual numbers…let’s just say ‘Taylor Swift, I’m not’.

Down to it…
I was looking for retribution on my home course today with another possible 36 holes with John Kirkland.

However…

I got “phished” and spam had gone out to a bunch of friends from my address. (Sorry about that!)
FB = closed until I screw with all of the security parameters, which I don’t have for right now. I had to snap to and start checking about what gets compromised on a phishing expedition.

JK called prior to our scheduled 4pm clash. “I can’t make it. My 87 year old dad wants me to meet him at 6”.
I could tell he was itching to play, because he followed the previous statement with “I’m itching to play.”
But, in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but envision John thinking “I beat him at match-play at home when he was playing well… my work here is finished”.
But I believe he was itching to play because I believe everything I hear. Even from John.

With that in mind…
JK reports playing some eeeaarly disc golf with Ken Westerfield, Krae Van Sickle (two more great freestylers) and Ed Headrick. As they prepared to throw a hole, JK twirled a disc and performed a chest roll. To which, Ed replied, “I can’t do that. So it’s against the rules.” He was joking… but it stuck.
And now you know how rules are made.

It’s too bad JK had to bail because I dug out an “I jam, therefore, I am” tee shirt, along with a mint O-Roc with some marbled yellow and black plastic and my 2008 PDGAW-GM stamp… oh, and a 1st run Champion Edition TL in mint condition. But, now they’re back in their obscure little boxes and shelves in my closet, soon to be forgotten.

Back to FB for a moment…

I guess I should have been posting my blah blah blah’g entries on FB since I joined. I’d rather tell people to go all the way back and start from the beginning. Frankly, that part of it is far more exciting than THIS part. I tried to make it a bit more interesting a few weeks back at PDGAW. Hope some of you enjoyed reading it as much as I did doing it, but that might prove to be a several-tiered impossibility.

Back to work for a while…
Trying to kick start some dormant projects.

Tomorrow: Whatever’s on the short list.

08-18-10

JK

No, a bit earlier in the history of the game.

John Kirkland and his mild mannered boomer son, Cody met me at Barnett for a round. 2nd hole, Cody crashes chains with a Roc from 365’. Buck!

John’s been practicing his putting. Mine was back after a 2 day hiatus. We got through 13 before Cody bailed out because he hadn’t slept much and had already played a round of golf.

John & I played a lax match play for rd 2 on the north course. Some good putting from both.

John’s previous two times here, we played at T2 and I played great. I played pretty decent today as well, but John edged me out this time, despite me gaining a stroke on 17 to be one behind going into the #18 island green.
He assumed the role of caddy and suggested the Mako over the water. Assessing his caddy skills, I threw one. I was within 15. He threw an old (Original) O-Roc and was also at least halfway into the putting circle.

Tomorrow: Maybe Turkey Lake in the morning, maybe a jam in the evening.

For those of you who have only gotten into the sport in the last 15 years…

John Kirkland won the World Frisbee Championships (Overall) in front of 50,000 people at the Rose Bowl in… I’m thinking 1979. He holds, or held, several world records and titles. His frisbee collection is likely the world’s largest. He was at the forefront of freestyle in it’s earliest days and at 63 he’s one of the top 5 DDC players in the world.  Other than that, he’s just a guy who digs da platter.

08-17-10

As stated in the previous entry, Saturday was the Dog Days Drive Off, a fun-draiser for the Florida Tour event, the Mott Law Firm Orlando Open. Both run by the Orlando Disc Golf Club. (When the club formed and voted on a name, I suggested G.O.D.-Greater Orlando Discers. I was deemed a heretic and burned at the stake… well, almost. They voted for a more specific name.

08-12-10
In prep for the event, I went to the course to do some light trimming, forgetting that I had completely unloaded my van, because I thought I was going to have to have it towed to a mechanic’s place.

I had left my incredible Gerber brush cutter (a machete’ only better) at home. Armed with ONLY a box cutter razor knife, I spent about 3 hours snapping off dried palm fronds. The greener ones came off when I scored across them several times with the knife.

I left at least a dozen large stacks of fronds all over T2’s hole #5 & 6

Friday the 13th
Realizing that the park staff probably wouldn’t get to picking the piles up before the event, I went out and dragged the piles of fronds out of the lines of play. Then, club president-James, and I walked around the course painting areas which would be designated as +1 (penalties) or –1 (bonuses) to your score on that particular hole… and then flagging them.

Saturday the 14th
The Dog Day’s Drive Off started with all 31 entrants playing the blue tees on T2, a fairly arduous course.
Mulligans (in this case, legal extra throws) were sold for $5 each or 5 for $20. After round 1, I was tied for the lead with James LeBaube by virtue of using all of my 5 mulligans and converting each of them to a birdie.
Round 2 came too quickly as lunch arrived a bit late (and I’m a slow masticator) plus I had some work to do on a temp tee pad just before the round started. I forgot to buy mulligans (foolishly thought I didn’t need them)

Ironically, I’m just back from winning another world title and I was all over the course. My drive had plum evaded me. The heat & humidity were staggering. Near the end, it felt as if I was playing disc golf in the Foreign Legion. Trudging through the sand, hoping in vein that the next oasis would quench my thirst for birdies.

James continued to play well and won the Pro division and Mark Janssen took the am division. The club also gave away a DISCatcher traveler basket and raised roughly $800 for the Mott Law Firm Orlando Open, which basically will pay for ONE DAY of feeding the expected 180 contestants.

Sunday the 15th
Only 4 club members showed up for the workday, where we dug out and built 5 massive blue tee frames (5’w at the front, 7’w at the back and 12’ long) and 5 smaller green tees (4’x8’) One of the park employees (formerly crew chief) ran the bobcat, a merciless ground eater, to dig out the area. Two of us moved dirt around by hand while two others screwed the wooden frame together, leveled it and staked it into place before filling around the frame and packing the dirt.
It was a grueling 8-hour day in ridiculous heat. I filled 4 different shirts with sweat before the day was done.
That night, I vowed to drink heavily and take 1 of every pain pill, muscle relaxer and anti-inflamatory I could find. I didn’t last long enough to make good on the threat. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Monday the 16th
The park got their “good” tractor back from the shop and the guy who really knows how to use it is going on vacation tomorrow.
Sooooo, I went back to the park and supervised the moving of a couple red tee pads that had already been poured on T2 #s 1 and 2.
Local discer Steve Morris showed up and also pitched in despite the drizzling rain.
Afterward we embarked on a round from the red tees while I showed him some of the advantages of throwing under-stable plastic. Eventually we started throwing the blue pads as he was starting to grasp the concept of a hyzer release that stands up and flies straight. Near the end he was bombing some long and fairly straight shots without snapping over at the release. I love when that happens!
I made good on the previous evening’s threats.

Tuesday the 17th
Yesterday we lived on a paved road. Today we do not.
Massive road-munching machines growled through our neighborhood chewing up the pavement, belching it into an awaiting dump truck which carted it away.
Not sure why. I guess it’s one way to keep the recent string of burglars at bay for a few days.
The neighbor across the street had two guys in his house stealing TV’s and that same neighbor called to inform us that he’d seen some punk walking into OUR back yard with a brick. Nothing seemed broken or missing after I raced home to check it out.

More massive trucks are currently laying another slab.
We’re upgrading our alarm system.

Tomorrow: Frisbee icon and legend, John Kirkland visits his hometown. We’ll likely do a round or two.

08-11-10

Too busy for you.

So… From the PDGAW, I drove south for two days, back to Florida to do more dg kidz clinics for the Seminole tribe at a church camp where I installed a course.

After day #2, I drove back home to Orlando and was greeted by a furr-ball the size of a large rodent. I only say that because when I walked into my semi-dark room, I thought it WAS a small rodent, but looming larger in it’s not-quite-alive ferocity.

Sadly, that is the most tale-worthy event since my return to the abode.

Unless tons of office work is your particular fetish, you’ll have to get your jollies elsewhere.

Oh, I got a jam in with a buddy, which is always a good time, despite trying to play in wind that was like a Ferengie (usually small, but sometimes ferocious, and you couldn’t trust it) [think Next Generation].
Come to think of it, it was more like Lucy Van Pelt. You’d set it up and she’d pull the wind out from under you. And… you crash and burn for no good reason.

Mostly I’m trying to pay off bills while creating new ones.

FL pks & rec convention is coming up. We have a booth. So does Innova… because the conventioneers won’t let us piggy back, even though we usually end up working together on projects.

New posters, literature, products… Business! P’tui! What ever happened to good old-fashioned money falling outta the sky?

Probably won’t make the official grand opening of the new course I built in Venice. It’s a very tiny space. How tiny? The period at the bottom of the question mark is actually the course map. Hey, it’s the space we were given. I think it’s pretty cool. Hope everyone else likes it for what it is. It couldn’t be much more, methinks.

My van key wouldn’t turn in the lock a couple of times in the recent past. Tonight it refused no matter how many good-thrashings I gave my van with a branch. (Cleeseism)
I was going to have it towed to a mechanic but AAA sent a locksmith and he fixed it, in the dark, in around 15 minutes for NUTTIN, like a Navy Seal field stripping and reassembling his rifle in the dark. He wasn’t quite as helpful when I asked him to keep going and fix the AC. (Nor had he reassembled his rifle)

So, you’re caught up.
Saturday is a safari tourney at Turkey Lake. Combining holes to make Big Fairways. One day we’re going to do an overlay course along these lines (like Charlotte has done on almost all of their (formerly) normal courses. Stan, you are a magnificently sadistic Sum-beeeotch! If I built courses like you do here in Orlando, I’d be crucified (Oh wait, that already…kinda almost… happened.)

Sunday we build 10 (count-em) new tee pad frames (5 Blues, 5 Greens) to complete T2 (except for the Gold tees and maybe the medium level tees I’ve been toying with for a while)

I should be working on my Japan story now, so…go away!
Tomorrow: I’ll probably be busy and ignore you.

P.S. Can you believe that Shatner is going to play the dad in the “S&@t my dad says” Sit-com? Didn’t see that one comin.